A person in our community asked about caring for parents with dementia. That’s a tough one. I’m going to tackle this topic in two separate posts.
First, we’ll look at taking care of YOURSELF. You can’t give what you don’t have, so prioritizing self-care is a biggie. This applies to anyone navigating the season in life where we care for aging parents, whether they are healthy or dealing with any issues.
I’ve observed my mom care for her parents, in-laws, and later my dad. I was always in awe of how she seemed to know just what to do and of her generosity of time.
Now I’ve been the caregiver for over a decade. I helped with my FIL as he dealt with major heart surgeries, strokes, rehab, and eventually skilled nursing facilities before he passed. My dad’s radiation treatment for a brain tumor left him with dementia-like symptoms that led to a decline in both physical and mental states to the point caregiving was taking a huge toll on my mom’s health and he eventually had to be placed in a skilled nursing facility for his safety shortly before he passed. My MIL was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s several years ago and is now in a memory care assisted living facility for her safety. My mom has had several issues in the past five years, with 2023 being especially challenging. She hasn’t driven in over two years and had to move from her independent apartment to assisted living in the continuum care community where she resides.
Did you catch that little phrase above: “…caregiving was taking a huge toll on my mom’s health”?
Watching my mom struggle with caregiving responsibilities was a great teacher for me.
Here are a few of the ideas I took away from watching her and try to apply in my life:
Flexible thinking – being able to go with the flow and try to look for the positive in even the toughest of situations.
Healthy eating – our bodies use food as fuel; feed it nutritious, whole foods. And drink lots of water.
Rest – early and often. Utilize this resource on rest to help you.
Physical activity is vital – find something you enjoy. Walking, organized sports, fitness classes, whatever you’re comfortable with. I find walking in a natural area is especially restorative.
Time alone or socializing is okay – do what you need to feed your soul.
It’s okay to ask for help – there are support groups, ways to get respite care, and people willing to support you.
It’s okay to not be okay – you don’t have to put on a happy face all the time. Sadness, frustration, and guilt are just a few of the many emotions caregivers feel. Accept your feelings. They are temporary. Talking to someone or journaling can help you move through them.
How do you take care of yourself while caregiving? Some of you have younger children at home and parents with health issues. What insights can you offer? Thanks for being a supportive member of this community.
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