In December I asked you what to write about, and a community member asked how to forget and forgive. Another biggie that I’ll tackle in two posts.
We’ve all had someone say or do something to us that sticks with us long after it was done. It can be something the other person is unaware of how they affected you, a traumatic event they are fully aware of, or somewhere on the spectrum between the two extremes. I can instantaneously think of a handful of events from elementary school through college that I can’t forget, but I have worked on to heal. You can probably do the same.
We think, “It shouldn’t be on my radar anymore.” But it is.
No matter where on the spectrum the event fell, it affected us greatly.
Our brains are part of our bodies. As such, the trauma we experience is stored in our bodies. Time passes, memories fade, and it’s still there in our minds and bodies.
What I know to be true is that we don’t forget, but we do heal. We are wonderfully made! Our minds need some time to understand what our spirit already knows. This is why I find practicing stillness is vital to my life. Stillness is the best action we can take, allowing us to hear our inner wisdom, God, Love, our gut…whatever name you have for the Knowing we all have within. Once we acknowledge the hurt, and accept that it happened, we can show ourselves compassion by learning how to heal.
How you heal will be unique to you and your situation. When I am working especially hard at healing something, these are some behaviors I engage in:
Allow myself to feel without judging my emotions
Seek support (a friend, a coach, a therapist, etc.)
Practice breathing exercises (here’s a freebie for you!)
Move (I listen to my body. One day I may feel like yoga, the next a sweaty row; whatever my body needs that day.)
Eat healthy and stay hydrated
Rest (Actual sleep and time for relaxation, like reading or dotting)
To be clear, I am not diagnosing or treating anything. I am speaking to you as a fellow human supporting you on your journey.
I’ve also found these resources to be helpful on my healing journey: The Wisdom of the Body by Dr. Hillary McBride, Switch on Your Brain by Dr. Caroline Leaf, Rest is Resistance by Tricia Hersey, and Radical Compassion by Tara Brach. While much of what is written in these books is nothing new (stoics and visionaries have been teaching similar concepts throughout time), we now have scientific data to support them.
Do you have any resources that have helped you on your healing journey? Please share them with our community!
Once you begin the work of healing, that’s when forgiveness comes in. We’ll talk about that in the next Nothing New!
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